i will check out your butt regardless of gender. im no buttist
*eats 4 slices of pizza*
im so full
*eats another 4 slices of pizza*
You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
i like being complimented on my eyebrows and on my oral sex techniques
why the fuck would you ask me if i’m fine. have you seen me? i’m fine as hell
Why was Oedipus against profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.
I need to be a professional woman who wears expensive lingerie under designer clothes